Posted by: Judy | October 5, 2011

My Values…

Love – It’s already feeling a bit sticky. This isn’t easy. I want to be loving. I remember a line from Scarecrow and Mrs. King, a television series in the 80s. Scarecrow owned a Porsche. It’s stolen and crashed, totaling it. As he stands over the smoldering wreckage, Mrs. King says, “I’m really sorry. I know you loved that car.” Scarecrow shakes is head. “You don’t love a car, but you sure do become attached to one.” I had dated a guy I thought I was in love with, but later realized that it was infatuation. Sort of. He paid attention to me. That was only the beginning of the problems. It wasn’t a healthy relationship, not by any stretch of the imagination. I loved my dog and my horse. My friends, more particularly those of the last ten years, have taught me about love, from God to favorite things and everything in between.

Charity – The pure love of Christ. It’s important to be giving, but it’s also important to receive with grace.

Faith – There is a difference between blind faith, and knowing I’ve done everything I’m able, including learning what I could, and putting everything in God’s hands.

Hope – No matter how many times I’ve endeavored to quash it in my life, it slips back in. It is a God gift; you can’t quash a God gift. You can only turn your back on it.

Truth – There are very few absolute truths. There are a lot of opinions taught as truth. It’s important to educate one’s self and decide for one’s self.

Responsibility – The child of a narcissist is taught that they are responsible for everything. It’s important to learn what is true and what isn’t and set healthy boundaries.

Courage – Without fear, there would be no need for faith or courage. Fear can be healthy; courage keeps it healthy.

Honor – You do what you’ll say you’ll do. That isn’t to say that you destroy your little brother’s block tower because you said you would. In fact, if you’re honorable, you’ll help your little brother protect his tower, if that’s what he wants. You honor boundaries, yours and others. I’m still learning about honor.

Respect – Establishing healthy boundaries for myself and maintaining them, and allowing others to have boundaries.

Integrity – Being honest, with everyone,  especially with yourself.

Gratitude – When I’m feeling poor, in any way, it makes a difference for me when I take a moment to count my blessings. It’s amazing how others are touched when you offer a sincere “thank you.” When I see military personnel I try to work up the courage to simply walk up to them and say, “Thank you.” They seem to always appreciate it. I thank those that help me in a store. I’ve thanked people working in their yard for their beautiful flowers.

There are more, but these are my starting point.


  1. All good points. One that I can especially relate to is receiving a gift with grace– especially from in-laws. Still working on it after 30+ years. All good gifts come essentially *from* God, and often via other people, even people we’d rather not get anything from! So that is a type of grace, indeed.

    Interesting about saying thanks to military personnel. A man who came into my work the other day said he had just returned from Afghanistan, and I was so moved I had to fight back tears and keep myself from hugging him on the spot. The other half of me didn’t believe that he was telling the truth. He seemed too mentally healthy, and we have MANY people who come into my workplace and tell bald lies over and over, especially when applying for benefits, which has made me wonder how God stands any of us… it’s making me lose what good feelings I’ve had about people in general. It’s extremely depressing.
    But back to the soldier/soldier(?)… It made me sad even to be doubting him for a moment. But there you go. I did show him great respect and helped him with the computer as quickly as I could, with a (genuine) smile. In case he was telling the truth, it was truly the least I could do. Even if he wasn’t, we smile anyway.

    I guess next time I’ll also thank him, too, and the worst thing that will have happened is that I’ll have thanked a faker. Not the end of the world.

    Great post!

    • Isn’t it sad that we find ourselves questioning what people say? Thanking for his service would be genuine, so no shame on you. ((Mary))

  2. This why I can say that I have the most awesome sister. You know how to prioritize the really good stuff. ((Judy))

    • Thanks ((Ruth)) 🙂

  3. These are wonderful! They are an excellent starting point for me too. Thank you for this!

    • You’re welcome ((Mary Ann))

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